...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
