About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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