I think I won the penis lottery.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
