Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
