There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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