Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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