Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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