Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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