3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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