Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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