Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
