You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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