i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
