dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
