just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Houston, we have a squirter
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
