I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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