it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
