laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
