I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
