THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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