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• (416): View more from Ontario

  Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors

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  These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin

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• (914): View more from New York

  Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.

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  The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe

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• (941): View more from Florida

  you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight

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