..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.