Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry, I don't speak sober.

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  (613): Sorry, I don't speak sober. http://tfl.nu/dwuu
  Replies (8) Good night (4216) Bad night (669)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.

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  (815): I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair. http://tfl.nu/f22e
  Replies (12) Good night (786) Bad night (3994)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.

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  (404): I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home. http://tfl.nu/u6hf
  Replies (16) Good night (728) Bad night (3479)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,

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  (973): I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry, http://tfl.nu/9gek
  Replies (28) Good night (6221) Bad night (866)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.

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  (734): I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there. http://tfl.nu/fwws
  Replies (28) Good night (4913) Bad night (1131)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?

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  (607): Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be? http://tfl.nu/nsuv
  Replies (31) Good night (3062) Bad night (863)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family

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  (503): If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family http://tfl.nu/rf5e
  Replies (7) Good night (3060) Bad night (954)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying

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  (609): Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying http://tfl.nu/j2oh
  Replies (8) Good night (2916) Bad night (978)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it

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  (386): he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it http://tfl.nu/bfv6
  Replies (16) Good night (1950) Bad night (1373)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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  (573): Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI. http://tfl.nu/6uwa
  Replies (12) Good night (1674) Bad night (796)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke

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  (201): She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke http://tfl.nu/9cxf
  Replies (1) Good night (1513) Bad night (511)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive

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  (804): Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive http://tfl.nu/45br
  Replies (9) Good night (2122) Bad night (719)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.

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  (229): If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month. http://tfl.nu/wxst
  Replies (3) Good night (1000) Bad night (492)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain

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  (787): She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain http://tfl.nu/0oj5
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (576)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  How are you feeling?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.

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  (541): How are you feeling? (1-541): Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am. http://tfl.nu/yuas
  Replies (8) Good night (363) Bad night (631)

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