She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton