His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
