Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
