Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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