But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
