you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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