You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
