We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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