East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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