he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
