New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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