i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
