new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
