I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
