I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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