If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
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