too bad you live with your parents still
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
