the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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