I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
