pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize