have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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