: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
