Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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