wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize