Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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