I got chris browned last night
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
