My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
