He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
