Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
