talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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