Please, let me fuck your mom
I just threw up on my dentist
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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