my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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