the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
