oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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