The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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