Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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