is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
