so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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