Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Me too!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
