and next time when you feel me up, do it right
operation harelip BJ is a go
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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