hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize