used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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