We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
